Peace Amidst the Swirling

I came across this fresh sprig of flowers resting at the edge of a fountain. While water rushed steadily over its stem and droplets formed from the splashing, its delicate blossoms held steady. Reflecting on the continuous stream of thoughts that rush through my mind on a daily basis, I was reminded that I am the observer of these thoughts and can choose to let them swirl by without becoming disturbed.

The Bhagavad Gita assures peace for one who is able to remain steady in this way: “A person who is not disturbed by the incessant flow of desires – that enter like rivers into the ocean, which is ever being filled but is always still – can alone achieve peace, and not the person who strives to satisfy such desires.” (BG 2.70)

Hidden Beneath Clouds

Do you ever find yourself getting swept up by life's turbulent clouds? I've observed that when I lose myself in the story of my body, mind, and emotions, I start to hanker for that which I don't have, and lament for that which I can't keep.

Fortunately, beneath the haze, there exists an eternally blissful spiritual being. Clouds of material existence will come and go, yet our true selves remain untouched. Steady and luminous like the sun. Today I seek out those rays of light.

"Those who are seers of the truth have concluded that of the nonexistent [the material body] there is no endurance and of the eternal [the soul] there is no change. This they have concluded by studying the nature of both." (Bhagavad Gita 2.16)

A Relationship That Is Never Broken

While photographing this elegant scene, I considered how the leaves resemble various chapters of a lifetime, each one unique, some more uplifting than others. The one constant is the vine's sturdy stem from which the leaves emerge. We can ask ourselves: who or what is the constant in my life? For me, it is my relationship with an affectionate Supreme Person who journeys alongside me through life’s many ups and downs. Bhagavad Gita describes how everything rests upon the Supreme as pearls are strung on a thread (BG 9.2), or in this case, as leaves repose upon a vine.

Since childhood, I have struggled with anticipatory grief over losing loved ones. Perhaps some of you can relate. Therefore, I find great solace in the knowledge that I have an eternal well-wisher and friend, a companion till the end of this life and beyond. Here is an encouraging quote to affirm this: “The relationship with the Lord is never broken; thus there is no grief and no fear. There is an unlimited flow of everlasting happiness without the fear of its being broken as we have experienced here in the material world” (SB 2.7.47 purport). Now that's comforting isn't it?

Accepted For Our Devotion

With a palmful of nature, I reflected on the aphorism “It’s not the gift, but the thought that counts.” The Cambridge Dictionary explains the meaning of this phrase: kind intentions are the important thing, even if the gift is imperfect. Never has this saying been more accurate than in our offerings to the Supreme Person who already has everything. In the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna says: “If one offers Me with love and devotion a leaf, a flower, a fruit or water, I will accept it.” (BG 9.26) Confirmation: It’s our affection that counts!

Recently I heard a wonderful explanation of this verse by Hridayananda das Goswami: “The Sanskrit word prayatātmanaḥ literally means one who has offered their own soul. Krishna is saying that when you offer something with devotion, what that means is that you are really offering yourself. There is no fruit shortage in the spiritual world. They don’t have a hydrology issue; they don’t need the water. So the real point is that the fruit, leaf, water and flower are ways for a devotee to offer their own soul. And when Krishna says ‘I accept it,’ He is actually accepting you, He is accepting your soul. Because if you think of it, if Krishna accepted the leaf and left you behind, that wouldn’t help would it?”

No Loss or Dimunition

Look, it's a leafy changing bodies exhibit! I took this photo about a year ago. Since then, the wall has been torn down and a new building has taken its place. Time is life’s great conveyor belt, and we can't turn it off. Time also seems to move faster the older I get. This speeding up of subjective time with aging is well documented and is a phenomenon that continues to be explored. As Andy Rooney humorously puts it: “I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.”

Sometimes I reflect on how much time I have used up in mindless activities. Occasional twinges of regret spur me into positive change, while wallowing backfires and results in more lost time. I find that the most helpful question I can ask myself is "how will I spend the time I have right now, today?" As Bhaktivinoda Thakur eloquently reminds us:

“Forget the past that sleeps and ne’er

The future dream at all,

But act in times that are with thee

And progress thee shall call."

Fortunately, the time and energy I invest in my spiritual journey are never lost. Krishna promises in Bhagavad Gita: "In this endeavor there is no loss or diminution, and a little advancement on this path can protect one from the most dangerous type of fear." (BG 2.4) I find this verse reassuring and plan to make some eternal investments today. What about you?

A Soothing Remedy for a Lonely Heart

When you feel lonely
Place a hand over your heart
And with earnest feeling
Cry out Krishna's name
Now again and yet again
Something magical begins to happen

Tears spring to your eyes

As you sense Krishna close by!

He has been here all along

Your loving companion

For lifetimes

You never were alone and never will be

Your eternal well-wisher is here

Just waiting for you

To turn and notice

"The Supreme Lord Krishna, whose glories and activities are pleasing to hear, at once appears on the seat of my heart, as if called for, as soon as I begin to chant His holy activities." Narada Muni in Srimad Bhagavatam 1.6.33

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Note: I wrote this as a reminder for myself. Perhaps some of you will find that it resonates and brings hope. :)

One Whose Aim is Inward

Crouching among these fan palm leaves with my camera, I felt like a child discovering a good hiding spot! While I appreciate the tranquility and stillness in this scene, I am painfully aware of how challenging it can be to turn inward in a world that thrives on external validation and busyness. I may even be alone in a room yet keep a safe distance from myself through endless distraction. It can be difficult to sit quietly and discover who I am when no one else is around. It's easy to get swept up in the hustle and bustle of this world and lose sight of the true self along the way. Perhaps you can relate?

I keep this inspiring Bhagavad Gita quote on my desk to remind me that lasting fulfillment comes from within:

“One whose happiness is within, who is active and rejoices within, and whose aim is inward is actually the perfect mystic. She is liberated in the Supreme, and ultimately she attains the Supreme.” (Bhagavad Gita 5.24)

(Note: I used the "she" pronoun in the above verse to help me resonate more deeply with it, yet it applies to everyone)

Finding Rays of Hope

A few years ago, on a solitary walk, I came across this striking scene. I vividly recall being bathed by rays of hope and uplifting thoughts as I stood there, spellbound. Sometimes life can feel heavy, dark and stagnant. At such times, receiving a reminder of a spiritual reality beyond the material is a soothing balm to my soul. I’ve experienced how these hope-giving reminders come in a variety of forms: through encouraging words from a friend, an excerpt from a wisdom text, the breathtaking beauty of nature, and so on.

This photo reminds me of a quote that I adore: “The need of the spirit soul is that she wants to get out of the limited sphere of material bondage and fulfill her desire for complete freedom. She wants to get out of the covered walls of the greater universe. She wants to see the free light and the spirit. That complete freedom is achieved when she meets the complete spirit, the Personality of Godhead." (Srimad Bhagavatam 1.2.8 purport)

Aah, to be bathed in that "free light and spirit." How nourishing!

Wise Investments

I drew this to remind myself to make those daily investments. I am grateful to Sacinandana Swami for emphasizing this point. A wise decision in an otherwise temporary world! 

Spirit Shines Through

As I observed sunlight's transformation on these leaves, I reflected on how a spirit soul illumines the body with consciousness. A question arose: In my interactions with others, how often do I actually look beyond the externals and see the luminous soul within? I have noticed that when I am able to focus on the spirit that shines through someone’s eyes, to recall that they are eternal beings and parts-and-parcels of the Supreme Person, my connection with them deepens and feels more meaningful. Have you observed something similar?

It's always fun for me to discover a quote that supports a reflection, so I was delighted to come across these relevant words: "Atomic particles of the spirit whole are compared to the sunshine molecules. In the sunshine there are innumerable radiant molecules. Similarly, the fragmental parts of the Supreme Lord are atomic sparks of the rays of the Supreme Lord." (Bhagavad Gita As It Is 2.17, Purport)

Wabi-Sabi: Beauty in Decay

This striking tree skeleton makes me think of wabi-sabi. In traditional Japanese aesthetics, wabi-sabi is a world view centered on finding beauty in imperfection and transience. Applying this concept enhances my appreciation for the Supreme Artist who designed a world where even decay can be beautiful.

At an art gallery speech in New Zealand in 1972, Srila Prabhupada (founder of ISKCON) shared this wisdom with his audience: “Those who have developed love of God are enjoying transcendental pleasure at every moment by seeing the artistic work of Krishna everywhere.” Now that’s an appealing aspiration!

(Note: I took this photo at Paynes Prairie in Gainesville, FL)

Amidst a Sea of Acorns

The other day I was inspired to discover a tiny sapling amidst a sea of acorns. The little tree appears to be surrounded by a community of well-wishers encouraging its transformation. I reflected on all the kind souls who have supported me along my journey.

Srila Prabhupada explains: "...at the end of life, when one has to go back home, back to Godhead, everyone has to take care of oneself without help rendered by another. The help is, however, offered on the ground before flying in space." (Srimad Bhagavatam 1.15.50 purport)

Let's support each other while we’re on the ground, so that when that final hour arrives, each of us will be ready to fly our own plane. And since we are eternal, we will feel the continued encouragement and support of our well-wishers as we soar onward and upward.

Precious and Fleeting

While observing these droplets on the velvety surface of leaves-- some still spherical and others beginning their descent--a line from Vaisnava poet Govinda Dasa came to mind: "This life is tottering like a drop of water on a lotus petal." Life is precious and fleeting. Am I using mine as prudently as I can?

The wisest decision we could make is to spend a little time today investing in the eternal. Then the following day (or week, month or year, depending on how quickly we want to eternalize our existence) we can add one more minute. And then another, and another...to eternity and beyond! As Sacinandana Swami eloquently puts it, let us create memories of eternal value.

Lessons From a Soaring Pine

As you look at this photo, I invite you to reflect on a question: If I were one of the smaller trees growing in this area, would I feel jealous or inadequate to see this pine reach its full potential? Or would I cheer for it on its journey upward? Imagine if we all became each other's greatest fans, genuinely wishing well for every soul we encountered, solid in our knowing that we each have something unique to offer and that no benefit comes from comparing our contribution or journey with another’s. Krishna tells Arjuna that it is "better to engage in one’s own occupation, even though one may perform it imperfectly, than to accept another’s occupation and perform it perfectly.” (Bhagavad Gita 18.47)

May we choose to lift each other up and give out generous portions of appreciation. In spiritual life, the more we give, the more we receive. And there is unlimited room for all of us to blossom fully.

A Bittersweet Blessing

My father and me (1985)

Sometimes it feels bittersweet being part of a large spiritual community. When we open our hearts to loving so many, we also face the prospect of experiencing that many goodbyes.

Since childhood, I have experienced anticipatory grief around the thought of losing the first generation of ISKCON devotees. I dread the imminent stream of departures of my gurus, mentors, parents and elders. Each one of you is a unique recipient of Krishna's kindness and an irreplaceable piece in the puzzle of my spiritual journey. I wouldn't be here without you.

Fortunately, we are eternal, and our relationships can be eternalized. Here is a reassuring quote: "Relations of the soul, established in relation with the Supreme Soul, are factual relations... The skin relation is the cause of material bondage, but the relation of the soul is the cause of freedom. This relation of the soul to the soul can be established by the medium of the relation with the Supersoul." (Bhagavatam 1.8.42 purport).

Separation is painful, yet an upside is that our future reunions will be that much sweeter!

A True Friend

Before any of my loved ones… there was You

Before all of the busy activities of this life… there was You

Before that day I arrived in this body… there was You

And when my loved ones leave… there will be You

And after my life’s activities are finished… there will be You

And on that day I leave this body… there will be You

There You always are

A true friend

Forever more

Demolition Musings

Last month, a number of old houses in my area were taken down to clear land for development. Observing the destruction, I reflected on the multitude and variety of people who must have lived in these homes over the past century, filling porches with plants and flowers and minds with hopes and aspirations. Just imagine the variety of social interactions that transpired within these walls, the array of human emotions experienced, the occasional transcendent thoughts that pierced mundane moments.

All that history erased in minutes, with only a few eyes and a phone camera there to witness it. How fragile and fleeting life is! It totters just "like a drop of water on a lotus petal," writes poet Govinda Das.

Fortunately, wistful musings can be easily transformed into deep hope with the simple knowledge that nothing of real value is ever lost, including my true self. If we choose to, we can eternalize our experiences and relationships by spiritualizing them.

What a comforting thought, right?

Krishna the Puzzle Master

Happy New Year. Many of us will be entering the new year with a sense of hope and renewed enthusisam, looking forward to positive change and new opportunities unfolding. However, some of us may be starting off this year feeling unclear about our purpose and unsure how to navigate the many challenges of our life. We may feel confused and directionless. Perhaps our life feels like a giant puzzle that is impossible to solve.

Puzzles can be a great source of entertainment. For example, I personally enjoy putting together jigsaw puzzles, yet when they are particularly challenging, it can be tempting to just give up. When it comes to the seemingly unsolvable problems of our life, many of us would probably find it helpful to have the support of a puzzle master who could shine light on our situation and help us figure it out. Fortunately, there is one person who can solve any puzzle, however challenging. That person is the Supreme Personality of Godhead, expert of all experts, the omniscient one who knows our past, present, and future. In the bhakti tradition he is often referred to as Krsna, the all attractive one.

Here is a suggestion for a simple prayer we can offer if we are feeling overwhelmed in life: “My dear Lord, you are expert in everything. I am feeling stuck in life and don’t know in which direction to proceed. Kindly give me some clarity with my situation and help me understand how to proceed in a way that will be best for my life and in a way that will help me come closer to you.”

Srila Prabhupada, the founder of the International Society for Krsna Consciousness, also appealed to the lord in a similar fashion when he was journeying to the USA on a steam cargo ship to spread the teachings of Bhagavad Gita in the west.

Srila Prabhupada

“I do not know why You have brought me here. Now You can do whatever You like with me.

 Most of the population here is covered by the material modes of ignorance and passion. Absorbed in material life, they think themselves very happy and satisfied, and therefore they have no taste for the transcendental message of Vasudeva. I do not know how they will be able to understand it.

  But I know Your causeless mercy can make everything possible because You are the most expert mystic.

Somehow or other, O Lord, You have brought me here to speak about You. Now, my Lord, it is up to You to make me a success or failure as You like.

O Lord, I am just like a puppet in Your hands. So if You have brought me here to dance, then make me dance, make me dance, O Lord, make me dance as You like.”

When we can take great inspiration from these words of Srila Prabhupada and try to imbibe a similar mood in our life. When we feel in life, when we feel like we have lost hope for how to proceed, then we can also bring this to the attention of the Lord and ask him to shine his light of mercy on our life so that we can better understand how to resolve the puzzle of our life in a way that would be best for our spiritual growth.

In regard to puzzles, I would like to leave you with some transcendnetal trivia. In the Krisna book, which describes some of Krsna’s wonderful pastimes on this planet 5000 years ago, there is mention of “Krsna and his brother Balarama studied the art of solving crossword puzzles, filling up the missing spaces and making complete words.”

Wishing all of you a year filled with spiritual realizations.

"Krishna Magic" at Grad School

This photo was taken back in May when I received my master's degree at UF. Since there was no formal graduation ceremony due to COVID-19, I put on the cap and gown one afternoon to solidify the ending of a two-year saga and asked a friend to snap a photo. It was a mini closing ritual of sorts, and this post is part of that closure. I want to share with you a transformative "Krishna Magic" experience (to quote Yamuna Devi) that occurred during my time in graduate school:

When I began the program, it had been ten years since my undergrad days and I felt rusty! It was a challenge to produce 15-25 page papers on a regular basis, yet the pressure helped hone my writing skills. As a teaching assistant, I graded endless assignments, while gaining experience lecturing at a college level. For those who don't know, I was working toward an MA in women's studies with a focus on gerontology (specifically on older women's experiences of ageism). There were times when the pressure felt too intense, even taking a toll on my health, and I wondered if it was worth the effort.

Thankfully I felt compelled from within to continue and was thus able to witness Krishna’s plan unfold. Every five or so years, a German professor in the sociology department teaches a graduate level course on death and dying. She "happened to be" teaching the course last fall and—surprise!—it counted toward my certificate in gerontology. As part of the course curriculum, we interned at a local hospice center. My project focused on the effects of music and singing on older women in hospice. Yes, I would actually sing to patients!

It was there that I met Rose (not her real name). I got to know Rose a little bit over the course of three visits. She was a Presbyterian woman in her 50s and was interested in hearing about my upbringing as a Hare Krishna. I sang the Hare Krishna mantra to her, which she appreciated, as well as some of her favorite Christian songs. She expressed her love for the piano, so I played the recorded piano music I had brought with me. During one of my visits, Rose said, with eyes closed, "I keep looking up." I asked her what she was seeing and she replied, "Lights. I see lights. They say that there are lights at the end of the tunnel." She had a smile on her face.

On my third and final visit with Rose, it "happened to be" the last day of Kartika. The nurses informed me that she was nearing the end and that it could be any time now. Rose had several adult children, yet none of them had come to visit. So I became a stand-in for her family that afternoon. I sat by her side and held her hand, praying that I could be there for her during her final moments. My shift was only two hours long, so when my time was coming to an end and nothing seemed to change in Rose’s status, I began to pray with increased urgency.

Ten minutes before I was to leave, the nurses came in and turned Rose to her side. When they left the room, I stood by Rose and spoke encouragingly into her ear, reminding her of her bright future with God by her side, how she was not her body, and how she was safe to leave when she felt ready. As I chanted in her ear, time seemed to stand still and I could feel Krishna’s presence in the room. Suddenly I was compelled to spontaneously call out: “Fly free spirit soul, fly free!” I then resumed chanting and less than a minute later, Rose breathed her last. I could feel a sudden shift in the room when her spirit left.

Almost immediately after Rose died, a nurse walked in. I guess she could tell by the look on my face that something had happened, because she asked, “Oh, she’s gone?” It seemed mystical that Rose passed away in that small window of time between nurse visits. I felt honored and touched that Rose had chosen to die with me by her side, chanting in her ear. As I walked back to my car, tears of gratitude filled my eyes. I felt Krishna’s kindness toward Rose, as well as his reciprocation with my prayer that I could be there for her at the end. This was my first encounter with the dying process and it was transformative.

Even though I didn't know much about Rose or the life she had lived, to this day I feel close to her on a soul level. We shared a magical time with Krishna at the center. Thank you Rose.

All of the pressures of graduate school became instantly worthwhile after this day, and I realized that Krishna had had a plan for me all along. I have always felt drawn to being of service to those who are dying and I look forward to seeing what door Krishna opens next.

Thank you for reading. I hope that each of you have a new year filled with "Krishna Magic" moments!

With affection,

Shyamala Kishori

A Vision for ISKCON's Future

Here is a short piece I was asked to write for the book Emergence of Women's Voices in ISKCON:

I am grateful to all the Vaishnavis (devotee ladies) who came before my generation and paved the way for us to serve Krishna according to our natures. It is because of their struggles and sacrifices that I grew up having the opportunity to lead kirtan, play mridanga, and give lectures. As a young girl, I heard firsthand accounts of how Srila Prabhupada’s female disciples steadily served their spiritual master amidst circumstances that were often discouraging. It saddened me to hear how these Vaishnavis, to whom I turned for guidance and wisdom, had been dismissed due to bodily conceptions. Their steady service under such circumstances is a powerful testimony to their spiritual strength and depth of devotion.

I envision a future for ISKCON where every Vaishnavi is valued and respected. Communities will seek out the women’s wisdom and perspective on important issues. Vaishnavis will be recognized as spiritual leaders, mentors, educators, and speakers. Every woman will feel inspired and supported in serving Krishna according to her propensity, per Krishna’s instructions in Bhagavad-gita (3.35), whether that entails running a center, giving class, raising children, or any number of other services. The men in our Movement will be concerned about the spiritual, physical, and emotional well-being of the women. During Srimad-Bhagavatam lectures, the feminine pronoun will also be used so that young girls growing up in the Society will know that they too can be devotees of Krishna. Men will appreciate and support the kirtans led by Vaishnavis and encourage their daughters to learn to play the mridanga and other musical instruments. Temples will have instruments on both sides of the room so that anyone musically inclined may participate. Men and women will take turns being first to recite Srimad-Bhagavatam verses and to receive maha during arati. Devotees will speak up when they see women being treated disrespectfully. The men will acknowledge and empathize with the struggles that women have gone through in ISKCON and work toward reformation. In this vision for the future, Vaishnavis are not treated as second-class citizens, rather as spirit souls, part-and-parcel of Krishna and invaluable members of our Society.

The vision I describe above is not merely abstract; certain ISKCON communities, centers, and leaders already embibe it. For example, I grew up in New Goloka, North Carolina, where Bir Krishna Goswami encouraged all the gurukulis to lead kirtan. Then when I was in my twenties, I had the opportunity to live for several years at the Krishna House in Gainesville, Florida, where I observed how, under the guidance of Kalakantha Prabhu, all ashrama residents and newcomers are treated with equal respect and care. Regardless of gender, devotees are given equal opportunity and encouragement to lead kirtan, give lectures, and take on various services according to their natures.

Dear Vaishnavis, let us come together and support each other on our spiritual journeys. We can encourage each other by not instinctively declining when someone invites us to give a lecture, write an article, lead a kirtan, or take on another service outside of our comfort zone. Together we can find the courage to use our voices in glorification of Krishna and His devotees and encourage others to do the same.